Don’t force the work. Or force it? Just a little? Who really knows. It’s probably a combination of the two, a solid synthesis of will and creativity. I WILL myself to create. Create, damn you! It will come. Just stare at the blinking line until you finally resign yourself to the “absurdity of your own predicament” as Ram Dass said.
It is all pretty silly, the tizzy I allow myself to get worked into because of the outward manifestation of so many inner states. I’m constantly surrounded by humans, vessels, containers for feelings and emotions and resentments and judgements and conditioning and goals and dreams and a “will to power,” like Nietzsche said. If everyone is simply going through time and space hoping to rise to the top like so much milk fat, then what the fuck are we even doing here?!
Round hole, square peg…get it?
Sorry, “for a minute there I lost myself,” like Thom said. Sometimes I just think that if we could all just detach from what we think we know about how things “should” be, take a close look at what IS, and then understand the concept of “garbage in, garbage out,” then we could all stop projecting on each other. Well, not all of us, some Beings just want to watch the world burn, like cats, or my two-year-old.
I’ve been trying hard to think about my thoughts, to go full meta. Turns out, I’m not the biggest fan all the time, and that’s OK. I don’t really have to give all the fucks I have in the tank to every thought I have that rubs me the wrong way. I still must look at them though. To not do so is to provide a grave disservice to myself, the humans around me, and the entire Universe. We’re all freaking connected by energy, I know this to be true. I know this to be true because when I’m pissed, you feel it, even if I’m eating a damn ice cream cone. When someone panics in a room, everyone panics in the room. You try to not smile back when a child smiles at you and says “poop.” Our shit is contagious, the good and the bad.
So, take heed, you scoundrel! Pay attention to the music, the books, the puppy videos, the porn disguised as art, the PEOPLE, and the conversations, with yourself and others. Most of my operating system is unconscious, so to feed it the good shit I must be intentional, put my influences and triggers on a curated loop of warm and fuzzy, challenging, informative, and real. I also have to put my blinders on like a Kentucky Derby winning steed. Blind to the bullshit. And yes, I’m the one who gets to determine what “bullshit” means to me. So do you. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
The bulk of our experience is unconscious, beneath the surface. Explore.
It’s easy to get stuck in the pattern of performing for the sake of how I feel others feel about me. To not be a member of the group, at my basic animal functioning, means to die alone in the snow. Guess what, guy? “The times they are a-changin’,” you know, like Bob was saying. I don’t have to fit in so I can secure a warm place to sleep and a bite or two of some whale blubber. I own my home and Chick-Fil-A is about two hundred yards away from me right now.
I’ve been involved in all the life happenings and haven’t put anything out in quite some time, and for that I apologize. Hang in there and trust that ya boy is still crouching in the dark and wet jungle getting stronger.
How rad is this?!Like Beyonce said, “you must not know ‘bout me, you must not know ‘bout me.”
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